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Parrot Jokes
A robber broke into the house of a family just after they had left to go to church one evening. He was rummaging through the upstairs rooms when he heard a voice saying: "Jesus is watching you!"
Fearing the family might have come home early, he snuck downstairs. When he didn't see anyone, he continued looking for valuables. Plundering the silver cabinet, he heard the voice again. This time from right behind him: "Jesus is watching you!"
He threw his arms in the air and turned around with his heart pounding. But there was no one there...Except for a little green parrot in a birdcage.
Relieved, the robber chuckled and said: Hey, birdie! Let me guess! Your name is Jesus."
"Bwak...No," said the bird, "my name is Moses."
"Moses?" the robber wondered. "What kind of weirdos name their bird Moses?"
"Bwak... The same weirdos that named their pitbull 'Jesus'."
~ ~~ ~*~ ~~*~~ ~*~ ~~ ~
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended. He won the bird bid. The parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry," said the Auctioneer, "he can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
